Top five regrets of the dying

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard’.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

4 Reasons We Listen to Sad Music, When We’re Sad

1. Connection. Listeners identify with the emotions expressed by the music or the meaning of the lyrics. They seek this kind of identification when they want to re-experience those same emotions. Some listeners in Van den Tol and Edwards’ studies found that identifying with their feelings in this way seemed to help sort them out. In other words, they sought “cognitive reappraisal” of their emotions.
2. Message. Another way listeners achieve the goal of cognitive reappraisal is through seeking out music with a message they wanted to relate to. Remember the 1978 hit “I Will Survive”? I would venture that some of its popularity was due to its strongly positive first-person message.
3. High aesthetic value. Before sad listeners can reassess their situation, they use music as a distraction. In this scenario, music of high aesthetic value—music believed to be particularly good or beautiful—is the most sought out. Van den Tol and Edwards hypothesize that the more beautiful the music, the easier it is for listeners to concentrate on it, thereby achieving the goal of being distracted from their present situation. But while music can be an effective distraction, the researchers warn that (as with nearly everything) there can be too much of a good thing. Excessive use of sad music in this way can be a sign of avoidance, and even an indication of poor psychological adjustment.
4. Memory trigger. Finally, listeners used sad music as a memory trigger, when it had association with past events or people, and they wanted to retrieve those memories. Interestingly, when listeners chose music for this purpose, it seemed not to enhance their moods, as music did in other situations.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-music-moves-us/201409/4-reasons-we-listen-sad-music-when-were-sad

最爱

不經不覺陳百強Danny已經離開了我地24年…

Preparation is Key

Everybody will have their time, mine is not riped yet…

If you’re ever reading this I just want you to know that I want to thank you for the past five years. At this very point, you’re probably thinking what’s he on about…but the truth is you’ve been my key motivation, that extra push to get over each challenge thats thrown at my direction. It may sound silly, but the thought of being settled in the near future provides that extra push.

I know at this very point of time, I won’t be in any position to have you – my time is not ripe yet. There are some people who are able to reach their destinations faster than others, and that’s why you’re with someone and all I can say is to wish you all the happiness in your life.

My time will come, but when that happens, it’ll be too late because you won’t be there waiting for me. You have a bright future, while mine is not shining as bright as it should be. It pains me for you to go…keep going.

我為何讓你走

If Your Boyfriend Does These 20 Things, It’s a Forever Thing

Not to sound like everybody’s grandmother here, but finding a man in this day in age is a damn mission and a half. Finding a good man? EVEN HARDER. Finding a man who stays loyal AND plans for your future? Girl, marry him ASAP because that sh*t is rare.

Being a twenty-something year old in 2017 is wild. This is the part of your life where people expect us to settle down and get married, buy a house, and soon after, have babies. Ugh, I know, right?

This list is to help you narrow down whether or not your man is ready for the long-run because if you and your boyfriend can relate to the things on this list, you have got yourself a keeper, and you are set for life. Go be free, get married, and live happily ever after. I have done my job. You’re welcome.

1.He appreciates you and shows it.

It’s not hard to say thank you, and your boyfriend knows that. He tells you how much he loves that you’re his girlfriend.

2. He makes sure you know how beautiful you are.

He does more than just tell you though, he makes you feel it, and won’t stop until he’s sure you know how beautiful you are. All of the things that you’re insecure about are the things that he loves the most about you- and he makes sure that you know it.

3. He keeps it interesting.

Spontaneous mid-day road trips? Hell yes. He takes the time to do little things in your relationship that makes it just that much more interesting.

4. He straight up tells you his plans for your future together.

This one is self-explanatory. Your Forever Boy won’t be afraid to make sure you’re involved in the plans he has for his future.

5. He does things in his life in order to plan for your future.

He saves for long-term things, and he works with you to make sure you guys have the future you want. He does things to better himself in order to better your relationship in the long run.

6. He makes it known that he’s fully committed to you and ready to settle down when the time is right…in case planning for the future wasn’t enough of a forever thing.

My boyfriend literally told me that he’s fully committed to me and only me and that he’s been ready to marry me for years. Even though I know that that’s the case, it’s really assuring to hear him say it.

7. He isn’t shady with other girls.

Your boyfriend won’t put you in a situation where you would have to question his intentions with other girls, and he won’t make you insecure about your relationship. If your boyfriend is a forever thing, he wouldn’t make you feel second to other girls.

8. He fully trusts you.

Another self-explanatory point. He trusts the decisions you make and he supports them. He trusts that you’re not going to go out for a girls night and hook up with another dude. It’s the big things and the little things that he trusts you with that show that he’s a forever thing.

9. Everybody knows how in love he is with you.

His family knows, his friends know, even random people in the mall know. They can see it when you two are together. They know just by looking at the way he looks at you and his body language around you that he’s crazy in love.

10. He’s open about his love for you.

Games are for kids. Your boyfriend knows that, so he doesn’t want you to have to guess about where you two are at. He wants you to know that he’s in love with you and that things are going places because you shouldn’t have to guess.

11. He went out of his way to learn about what makes you who you are.

He wants to know why you get anxious when people leave. He wants to know why you hated clowns as a child. He wants to know what happened in your life to become the person that he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

12. He sticks with you no matter what sh*t happens.

I knew my boyfriend was forever when he stayed up with me until 5 am one morning during an anxiety-fueled breakdown where I spent hours trying to get him to break up with me because I thought he deserved better. He didn’t take anything that I was saying seriously because he knew that I loved him despite what I was saying, and he knew that he loved me, and nothing can get in between that.

13. He knows your coffee order.

Honestly, this is probably the most important point on this list… Just kidding, but still super important because why would you want to date someone who doesn’t take 2 seconds to learn how you drink your coffee? Not worth it.

14. He knows your favorite food and restaurants.

You hardly ever have to deal with the “where do you want to eat” dilemma because he knows all of your favorite foods and restaurants. A forever boyfriend cares enough to learn that you need Taco Bell when you’re PMS-ing and that you need soup when the weather is gloomy.

15. He’s your biggest fan.

Your boyfriend will literally support anything and everything that you do, even if he doesn’t fully understand why you’re doing it. He will hype you up and make sure you know that he’s proud of you and that you’re killin’ it.

16. He makes sacrifices for you.

Your boyfriend’s selflessness shows a lot about whether or not he wants this for the long-run. I’m not talking crazy life sacrifices, but those are important too. I’m talking about letting you watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians every Sunday because he knows how obsessed you are even though you pretend to hate them. Even little sacrifices mean a lot, guys.

17. His family loves you.

A lot of guys don’t want to tell their families about a girl until he knows that it’s serious- it makes it easy when you break up. If your BF’s family knows about you it means he’s serious about your relationship. If they love you, it’s even better. They’ve opened up to you because they know that you two are going to last a while.

18. He does whatever he can to make you happy.

This isn’t something that your boyfriend is obligated to do, by any means, but it’s something that he wants to do because your happiness means a lot to him.

19. He really considers your feelings.

A fling wouldn’t care whether or not you wanted to have a night in with him instead of him going out because you had a really bad day. A fling wouldn’t realize that they made you upset over something because they know that your relationship is temporary. Your forever boyfriend is the complete opposite of that. They’re sensitive to your emotions and they show it.

20. He remembers the little details about you.

A forever boyfriend knows when you’re having a bad day because of the way that your eyebrows are constantly furrowed. He knows that you dance when you eat really really good food. He knows all of the little quirks you have and he loves all of it because he wants you to know that he’s a forever thing.

2023 Plan – Till’ 30 Years Old

• 2018 – Start ACCA exams and complete my final mixtape
• 2019 – Progress with ACCA and purchase Audi A3 Hatchback
• 2020 – Progress with ACCA and invest in property
• 2021 – Graduate ACCA
• 2022 – Take your hands, and move far far far away
• 2023 – Wife you 😛

女人花

Letting go doesn’t mean…

放手不是不愛你，而是因為太愛你，所以希望你快樂。 Letting go doesn’t mean I don’t love you; it means that I love you so much that I want you to be happy.

Recently, I’ve thinking about my future a lot, and it sucks. It sucks because I’ll never have you. I’m still young and stupid. I’m almost 24 years of age, and I still haven’t got my life sorted out yet, is it just me or is it just life is complicated cause I made it? You’re always on my mind…