This morning, I almost couldn’t get out of bed cause I had a short sweet dream. Maybe, cause I went to bed earlier than usual last night and the thought of sweet love creeping in my mind. At that moment I felt love…the love of being with someone. Funnily enough, in the background the song below was playing in my mind. Can I actually find love soon?
So the moral of this short sweet dream is I felt the surface of love and as I wanted to grasp hold onto it, it wondered further away and no matter how long I chased it, it was always running further away. I don’t know if this is a sign or something, but this dream was too short 😦
This is the question that has been occuring for the past three months, which is slightly annoying but the truth hurts. Mainly, I hear it from my family and although, my heart stops to think about her, I never really mention her name out loud, just my heart freezes for a second.
I make the same boring excuse that I’m currently under stress with my client with my current job, and the thought to start my ACCA professional papers is scary. I need to face that reality cause I can’t run away from it, and accept that those are gonna be hard times again. It’s gonna take a good three years to be fully qualified but I’ll be around 27 years of age. Around that age, I bet most people are married, possibly have kids, and have their own house etc.
I think they sometimes just want to remind me, but with my parents – career is very important and the rest shall follow, don’t stress haha. Sounds easy when someone tells you, but to deal with it gosh it’s a tough journey.
Unless I take that action and tell her something very important, then I can win her heart. But these are only thoughts that runs through my mind, but never actually happen. Three years is very long, so let’s see what happens…
Reflecting back on my 4th project, there are a few things I like to address that I wouldn’t have mentioned at the time of the release. At the time, this project would have been the best out of the four I’d made, and to be honest it is still. But over two years later, I gotta come out clean and say the flaws to this.
Firstly, this was rushed. My 3rd mixtape “Waiting For You” was released in 25/09/15 and this one was I think 18/11/15. So in the space of under 2 months, I rushed the project and that was my mistake. Overall, it is a great project and something that I will remember over the years. BUT is it at a satisfactory standard I would like? No…I always have high standard of myself and I always tell myself even now, I could have done better!
Secondly, with rushing the project alway meant rushing at making the songs. Although yes I have a good level of creativity, my desire to finish this asap was not a good idea and at a cost, the end product of the music was not at a very high standard. The lyrics could have been better and the mixing process too! Well, there are only a few songs which I felt was rushed and overall f***ed up this project. There were a handful of songs which were amazing such as Later On and Reminiscing 🙂
Lastly, deciding on a fixed genre on this project was a great challenge! I’ve always wanted each project to be different from the previous and possibly at a better level or quality. As I then decided, it would be a type of compilation mixtape, with a set of different genre and that led to build a bigger pressure on myself. Obviously, I would have balanced each specific genre in terms of the number of songs and some of the quality of each song wasn’t great unfortunately. I also wanted to have 21 songs cause at the time I was 21 years of age too, and wanted that badly haha. However, I persevered through it and the project was complete
At the end of this, I’m not 100% satisfied of this project, and there are valid reasons for this. But I am proud for what I have achieved and for that nobody can take that away.
Will there be a 5th project? Ha as I’ve previously said no matter how bad I want it to happen, it won’t be made…I had been planning this since May 2016 but nothing ever surfaced…but as of today 06/08/17 I can say this is truly happening and at this moment of time, I have started writing lyrics again 🙂 Let’s see where the next couple of months will take me…
Just so things are clear with me and the audience, I am NOT depressed about post-graduate, it’s something I want to share with everyone 🙂 I’m unfortunate to have a strong selfish belief at what I want to achieve after graduating, and it’s taken longer than I originally expected, but I’m here…so thank you all for the support.
Many graduates are struggling with their mental health (Picture: Charlotte Cockell)
This isn’t that sinking feeling that £1 drinks at the SU are now a thing of the past, but a much deeper issue.
One in four undergraduates experience mental health issues during their studies according to YouGov, but there is little said of the awful feeling post graduation that leaves students feeling anxious, upset and confused.
This silent problem is taking over the lives of recent graduates, and while conversations around mental health in general has been getting louder, this is an area that is still relatively quiet.
Finishing university is supposed to be a special moment when your life can finally start. Watch out world, here you come, all bright eyed and bushy tailed – but sadly, this isn’t always the case.
After years of being in full-time education, it is now time to start fiercely competing with others in the same situation as you for that much talked about dream job.
You know the job right? That special grad scheme based in some buzzing city far away, that pays more money than your parents make, promises fast progression, a fancy title and puts your degree to good use? Sadly, this isn’t always guaranteed.
I remember graduating, and feeling absolute despair and panic.
I had no plan, no idea what I wanted to do, and I was being incessantly quizzed about my next move by all my family and friends. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that I had no clue.
And on the day of graduation, as everyone else was busy readjusting their gowns and practising poses, I was busy answering a call from the local job centre about my recent job seeker’s allowance application.
Welcome to reality.
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Leaving university is a shock to the system.
It’s no longer about making sure you’ve done the extra reading and taking part in seminars, but about being expected to land a job, have a plan and start saving for things like a mortgage.
One graduate, who struggled with mental health issues after graduating with a degree in community nutrition in 2015, said:
I suffered massively with anxiety and felt at a loss thinking about that was next.
I felt unhappy and had no interest in life, this massively impacted my relationships with friends and family.
I also suffered from crippling panic attacks, agoraphobia and suicidal thoughts.
And when we take a step back and realise that we are leaving a way of life we’ve been in since we were 3-years-old, it is easy to see why graduates are feeling this way.
Education is a well-structured system, and the loss of this leaves many graduates feeling as though they are drifting, often too afraid to commit to one solid career field, fearing that it may be the wrong one.
But this is where universities can step up.
I remember my careers service offering not much advice, and my personal tutor cancelling the majority of our meetings.
(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)
Katie, a recent history graduate, echoes these thoughts and shares her experience:
The careers advice office were of little help to be honest when I approached them.
On the one hand, I was told I could do anything with a history degree, but on the other, getting a well paid job would be slim pickings.
Those on the hunt for jobs are placed in an impossible situation; they are either under qualified for a role relevant to their studies, or find themselves over qualified for a temporary job to get them by.
Employers have a lot to answer for, with their unfair expectation that a new graduate should have relevant work experience.
Between studying and working a part-time job in whatever we could to do to make ends meet, when exactly are we supposed to have clocked up a few months at a PR agency? Or in a tech company?
Unless you are somebody who had enough support to avoid working the odd bar/shop/waiting job, and could afford to go to a place like London for the summer and work an unpaid internship, then that dream job seems further away.
(Picture: Ella Byworth/Getty/Mylo)
If trying to get a job wasn’t hard enough, there is the issue of moving back home too.
Going back home during the holidays and the odd weekend was great fun wasn’t it?
Someone would pick you up from the station, you would have first dibs on the TV and your parents always stocked up the fridge with your favourites.
But now that you’re back for good, there is no fanfare, no special meals and you’re slipping into that all too familiar pattern of bickering over little things.
Going away to university meant forging your own identity, and getting away from your home town. But suddenly, you are back and left pondering if you’ve taken a step backwards in life as you are waiting to figure out what to do next.
A recent graduate says of this loss of identity:
I felt really down, I had lost my social group, my nights out and the excitement of living in a city.
I came back to live at home and it was like had never left.
Quite often, all it takes is for one more family member to innocently ask, ‘so what are you doing with your degree then?’, or hearing about how someone’s nephew walked straight into a £40k job, before you feel the walls closing in on you.
(Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)
Pharmacist Thorrun Govind has offered advice for graduates who feel this way:
Reconnect with friends at home.
Try and make healthy lifestyle changes such as getting more exercise, cutting down on alcohol, giving up smoking and eating healthily.
Most importantly, remember you are not alone.
This summer, like countless summers before, many bright young minds have graduated, and many of you are in the same position. And as cliche as it is, things always have a way of working themselves out.
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