等 寂寞到夜深
夜已靜荒涼
夜已靜黃昏
莫道你在選擇人
人亦能選擇你
公平原沒半點偏心
苦澀 慢慢向著心裡滲
何必抱怨
曾令醉心是誰人
自願吻別心上人
糊塗換來一生淚印
何故明是痛苦傷心
還幸 笑裝開心
今宵的你可憐還可憫
目睹她遠去
她的腳印心中永印
糊塗是你的一顆心
他朝你將無窮的後悔
這一生你的心裡滿哀困
苦澀 慢慢向著心裡滲
何必抱怨
曾令醉心是誰人
自願吻別心上人
糊塗換來一生淚印
何故明是痛苦傷心
還幸 笑裝開心
今宵的你可憐還可憫
目睹她遠去
她的腳印心中永印
糊塗是你的一顆心
他朝你將無窮的後悔
這一生你的心裡滿哀困
Hi everybody! 🙂
“Sometimes I feel like breaking down because my biggest fear is not being able to find someone before graduation. I have two years until that day happens. For me, time is slowly running out and all I can do is pray. I need to listen to my heart and gut feelings because I’ve always made mistakes from listening to my head”.
I’ve been thinking quite thoroughly about my love life, and maybe you’re right. I think wayy too much!!? Whatever happens will be for a good reason. If she’s the one for me wow that’s great, but if not, then I can’t do much. You may say I give up too easily, but in this situation I don’t know what to exactly think or do. I officially start work next week and my priority is putting my career first. See the thing is I read quite a lot of wisdom proverbs/quotes online or even books, and I’ve got all these ideas in my mind and they seem to clash with each other.
I don’t want to expose too much about this girl, but let’s say I miraculously manage to date her wahoo 😀 I go to work every weekday, but weekends I can meet her. Sounds wonderful, but I sometimes think I’m not ready for relationships in general. I really like her but I know I can’t have her now. I’ve got another 2 years to go until I officially graduate and within these two years, I just don’t have that confidence or belief I can keep her. But wait? Someone else can take her away, then what? The main thing is I really really really don’t want to lose her 😦 I already told her my feelings about her once, but that was brief, but I’m not sure if she has forgotten about it lol. If things between me and her actually work out, it was meant to be…but not…then I gotta carry on waiting for the right one (which I pray won’t happen haha) I got my heart set on this girl!
That’s the thing!!! It’s all about positive balance! I think my personality is always thinking the negative side of things in life and not much of the positives. Let’s see the positives shall we? Right I start work next week and our current “relationship” with each other are friends (maybe a bit more xD) I really want her, I want to hold her hands and be with her forever. I want to marry her. Brilliant…I have a dream, a vision.
But since I know my own limits I guess I just need to sit in the corner and wait for the right time to pop out. Even though I want her, what does she think about me? Hmmm good question. Our friendship has been strong since the day we met, I just hope we can survive for another 2 years. If she’s single after 2 years, then I gonna pounce on her 😛 But come on…realistically that won’t happen. Thinking positive, I have 2/10 chance of going for her in 2 years time lol. If she truly knows I take her seriously and want a future together she will wait for me. But with me…I should stamp the word “等” on my face lol…waiting is my special *sigh
Life moves fast so cherish every moment in life. I reminisce on my past memories and think all the things I could have done. They come and go every night, but this one in particular she sits there perfectly. Sometimes it makes me feel like I can grab it with my bare hands but afterwards not wanting to let her go. I realise only time will tell, but I hope I can spend the rest of my life with her. To me a sunset reflects me as a person. It has mix emotions and it captures that moment of beauty only then it disappears into despair. When I stare at it, it fills me up with hope and dreams. It makes you aware of the day gone past and prepares you for the night to come. I can’t imagine life without her, she means so much to me. Ain’t she beautiful?
Maybe I watch too many HK films that my expectations for this future girl I meet will be too high. I want a chinese girl that’s not just cute haha, but she also has an attitude lol. I don’t want a real softie. It’s hard to explain but when I meet the right one, I will explain to everybody here 🙂 When I write about the future and meeting the right girl, it fills me up with so much happiness. Unfortunately I’m living in the present now and for my beautiful wife, I don’t know when will she appear in my life. I may have met her, who knows. But I guess it’s all down to fate right? If I stumble into her and she captures my heart then I have a good chance she is the one. Most of the time I feel sad because I want to know the right girl but I always try my best to convince myself to wait and wait for the right one. I can’t rush myself into finding a girl. I would rather be single my whole life if I don’t be with my other half. To be honest in my previous posts there was one girl who I started to grow a fond towards to, and since I’ve known her for the past years, it’s weird to show my exact feelings to her. I still haven’t told her my feelings properly but I guess I can scrap that for the time being. I don’t even know if she’s the one and if she is, was I that blind the whole time!? Even if we fall for each other NOW, what much does that show? Since I’m on a placement for a full year I don’t exactly have the time I wanted to spend it with her. And will I be able to keep her long enough *sigh
There are so many unanswered questions in life and if I did know them, it wouldn’t be called life because life is all about discovering. Sometimes I feel like breaking down because my biggest fear is not being able to find someone before graduation. I have two years until that day happens. For me, time is slowly running out and all I can do is pray. I need to listen to my heart and gut feelings because I’ve always made mistakes from listening to my head. I once had this weird though that I would meet someone in my final year at university after placement. I always seem to have high hopes but those lead to disappointments…like always.
Yes I may be feeling sad when I write this, but I pray that when I have a family in the near future, I can look back at this and think, what a douche haha! For the past month I have had her in my heart, but I’m going to let that go. Why? Because deep down I think after my lost for one’s love, I couldn’t handle it and I started to slowly drift away and my heart went towards this current girl I have feelings for now. Sorry it sounds confusing I just don’t want to mention any names.
I can’t wait till I get married haha…
The courage to take action. Sometimes I don’t recognise myself anymore with this new look haha, but I only have little regret for my action. Some may say I have seen the light or I’ve been just totally crazy lol. Since that fateful day, my hair has been growing back normally phew haha, I was getting abit worried it wouldn’t grow back. Maybe getting old is hitting me hahaha
Today I want to write this post about someone who is very close to me. It’s about a girl who I have for so long admired deep down but never had the guts to show affection towards her. She’s different, she’s chinese. We both understand each other and I recently did open myself to her and it was abit strange. I told my other close friends about my love twist and I told them there’s no point chasing her but remain as good friends, but no matter how hard I deny it…deep down I really want her to be part of the future together. I guess I’m overthinking but am I crazy to even have a chance to be with her. I want to write more here, but I can’t put it in words and I know one day I will need to fully tell her my feeling and my thoughts of the future eventually. Whatever happens, it will be be of a good reason……………………………………..
tsangwinglun 